Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Having A Moment

My wife has been ordered to bed rest for the remaining weeks of her pregnancy. It has been two weeks since she has been home from the hospital and it already feels like an eternity. My wife and I are a very ACTIVE team and with one member down I feel like I am running out of steam and I just don't want to fail in the home stretch. Every day I leave for work and it kills me to leave her alone stranded on the couch. I went to the store and bought her some crafts for the baby and our first family photo album for her to start constructing. I just know she is scared, lonely, and very bored. I get how my wife is feeling and I know I need to be patient, sensitive, and most of all supportive....but, and this must sound selfish, but who is gonna support me? The truth is my job is more stressful then ever with more and more responsibilities and expectations mounting, and now I have this crucial 2nd job. I come home from work and instead of decompressing I am cooking, cleaning, and trying to be a good husband and caretaker. I know this is a small price to pay for the wonderful gift my wife is carrying, but I guess even men can have a moment. The thing is I am also scared, concerned, and excited, but with work, all the Dr's appointments, and taking care of everything I just don't have the time to fall a part. I feel like it has been one long day since that 1st night in the hospital 3 weeks ago. This is the first post I wont let my wife edit because I don't want her to know her strong man is feeling overwhelmed, but this blog has become my outlet and it makes me feel like someone is listening. So I am going to take a DEEP breath and let this MOMENT pass, because nothing compares to what my wife has to endure. I applaud all woman because you truly are the strong ones and I aspire to take the lead for this short time and carry the team to Victory. The truth is this is just gods way of preparing me for fatherhood and it's a position that both my heart and body must train very hard for. My nights of decompressing, and relaxing are over and I never can put my own needs ahead of my family's. The day's will continue and very soon I will meet my daughter and on that day this will all just be a small memory. I would like to thank all the people, especially my Mother In Law for their help and support...and Thank the few of you reading this blog for allowing me to have my MOMENT.
Just like my wife's battles with GAS the MOMENT is passing...:)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Four Day's Of HELL

My wife is currently just reaching her 26th week of pregnancy, so at this time your really not thinking about the possibility of going into labor. We spent last Saturday buying a carpet and things to decorate Noelle's nursery. That night we went to dinner with our friend Steve and my wife excused herself to use the rest room because she wasn't feeling well. When she exited the bathroom I knew something was very wrong because she was walking like a 90 year old woman who lost her walker and had major a flare up of hemorrhoid's. We decided immediately to go home so she could rest in hopes that whatever she was feeling would pass. The next morning I woke up and my wife had already called the Dr. and was packed and ready to go to the hospital...all I could think of was OH NO THE GAS IS BACK. We rushed to the hospital and went directly to the 4th floor which was for delivery. My wife went into the bathroom to put on her robe and get ready to be examined...as she walked out of the bathroom all the nurses said "STOP", ya see in my wife's agony she did not button up the robe and she was about to show everyone in delivery her VA JAY JAY, and La tushela. Once properly dressed they set her up in bed and was hooked up to all these different monitors...this began our FOUR DAYS OF HELL.
A few hours later the Dr came in to the room and my wife was still in horrible pain, the Dr said ok lets do a full exam...I said "OK I'm outta here" The Dr said from behind the curtain "all the guys leave at this point" I said "That's because we like to remember things down THERE as they use to be" The Dr. said "very good point". The curtain whipped open and he was ready to tell us the diagnoses, he said " Your having contractions and they are 2 minuets a part" This is not what you want to hear when your only at 26 weeks. Within minuets they hooked my wife up to every machine and started giving her meds to stop the contractions. This by far was one of the most horrible 48 hrs of my life...the baby was just not ready for this world, and the fear that something could happen to my wife or Noelle was unbearable...and there was NOTHING I could do. Finally the contractions slowed down and things were looking better so she was able to eat real food. I knew as my wife took a bite of her cheeseburger that something would go wrong...why would you serve a woman who has been on an IV for 2 days a cheeseburger? Within minuets my wife was feeling cramps again and worse then ever, all I could think was oh no its the contractions again. My wife sat up in bed and said "I'm going to be sick" The nurse hands me a small bed pan and within seconds it was like a scene from the Exorcist...she started vomiting everywhere. I held the small pan under her mouth and it filled up so quickly I screamed for help and was about to puke myself..my mother in law grabbed the ice bucket and that filled up...she was like an erupting volcano of vomit. Within moments I saw the color return to my wife's face and with that innocent voice she said "I feel better now" I on the other hand was covered in PUKE. After the vomit incident we thought we where in the clear...but then we heard the nurses say the baby was not as active as they would like...I immediately felt my heart breaking, and saw my wife was about to break down. All I could think of was our pink unfinished nursery and how it needed to be occupied. For the next 2 days I spent every minuet by my wife's side as they monitored the baby's little heartbeat. it's times like this that you realise emotionally how already in love you are with this baby, and the woman who is carrying her...the problem is as a man you feel so helpless, and all you can do is try and be strong and not totally break down. After another 2 days of monitoring they decided to release my wife to go home for a few months of bed rest. I am soooooo excited to be a provider, husband,father, and now nurse...I would do anything to make sure Noelle stays put a little bit longer and that my wife stays healthy.
The past 4 days definitely was a short visit to HELL, however it was the 1st issue my wife and I had to survive as a family. Spending those days by my wife's side and seeing her courage and strength was truly inspiring. We definitely came through this experience stronger as a couple, and better equipped to be a family. My wife and I certainly do know one conclusion...our little Noelle is going to be one perfect, beautiful, impatient pain in the little ASS... and we wouldn't have it any other way.

I would like to thank all of our friends and family for all the support and prayers during the last four days...we love you all.