The BabyMOON

Last Saturday I returned from a vacation or what people are now calling a BABYMOON. A babymoon is a new trend where couples plan a vacation before having their first baby. This is to enjoy the last moments alone as a couple without the worries of parenthood. I will say this to my few male readers DO NOT think your babymoon will resemble your Honeymoon, because at 22 weeks preggo it's a whole different type of vacation. We decided to return to the destination of our Honeymoon and go to Sandals in the Bahamas. On my Honeymoon my wife and I escaped back to our room every day for some LOVING and a nap....Babymoon I got lots of NAPS. we did try some loving on the first day, but after a certain point It just, well it feels strange when you know your baby is sharing your wife's body with you...so NAPS and snuggles became the new afternoon delight. On my honeymoon we soaked in the sun all day long...Babymoon your wife will last a few hours before she's uncomfortable and needs immediate air conditioning. Honeymoon we drank all day in the pool and met other drunken couples...Babymoon..virgin Pina Coladas and nobody wanted to talk to the knocked up sober couple. Honeymoon we wondered exotic islands and went on crazy adventures...Babymoon if it did not have a bathroom within a 15 foot radius it just wasn't possible.
I did experience something on my babymoon that I never experienced with any woman on any vacation...CONSTIPATION. After five days of bliss my wife started to feel uncomfortable and realised she has not been able to go to the bathroom. The pain and discomfort began to grow, and we know what happens to my beautiful wife when she's uncomfortable ( if you forgot go read the GAS blog again or rent FREE WILLY) We finally decided to go see the hotel nurse, who was a large and quite scary woman. The nurse said a word that will be sadly imprinted in my mind for the rest of my life... she said my wife needed an "ENEMA". My heart began to pound out of my chest and the beads of sweat started to pour out of my forehead when it hit me...I WOULD HAVE TO PERFORM THIS PROCEDURE ON MY WIFE. We both walked up to the pharmacy and not a word was exchanged when we purchased the DEVICE . It was as if we where two teenagers buying condoms for the first time for an afternoon romp. We finally reached our room and I laid on the bed as my wife prepared for the immediate release of pressure..then my wife called " Sweetness I'm ready". Usually those words coming from a beautiful woman in a hotel room was music to my years, but this was a totally different situation. I held my chest and took a deep breath as I walked around the corner to the bathroom. I grabbed the DEVICE closed my eyes, counted to three and performed the procedure. I had but moments to take cover before the explosion hit, and I ran to the bed and grabbed a pillow to drown out moans and screams...and then there was silence.
It took about 10 uncomfortable minuets before we could look at each other again, and we just started to laugh uncontrollably. It's definitely true LOVE when you can give your wife an ENEMA and still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world.
This Babymoon was definitely not like my Honeymoon, but it did give me some incredible and priceless moments to remember. I felt my baby girl move for the first time, I remembered what it's like to just cuddle with my wife. I saw just how beautiful a pregnant woman could be, and we reconnected as husband and wife, and became a family.
A babymoon is a wonderful thing...just make sure your wife eats lots and LOTS of PRUNES.
This Sunday, May 16th is our 2 year Anniversary and I just wanted to say to my wife who puts up with all these blogs that your husband
LOVES YOU WITH ALL HIS HEART AND THANKS YOU FOR THE BEST YEARS OF HIS LIFE.....HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SWEETNESS...Love your Beast.